DELIVERED FROM SEXUAL PERVERSION
April 30, 2009
by Shelyn Aikens – New Castle, PA, USA
Hello everyone, Shelyn here! I just wanted to share with everyone another struggle in the area of perversion… the word perversion means:
H5753 עוה ‛âvâh aw-vaw’
A primitive root; to crook, literally or figuratively: – do amiss, bow down, make crooked, commit iniquity, pervert, (do) perverse (-ly), trouble, X turn, do wickedly, do wrong.
So, in the Torah perversion isn’t actually speaking of the actual acting out of perverse sexual behaviors, it really is speaking of twisting and doing wrongly or completely misunderstanding the Torah or all of the old testament and even the new testament. Like a map, if the Torah or Tanach [old testament] was this map and we read it wrong, we are going to go in the wrong direction and if we throw out the map we are really headed for trouble and if we misread the map and don’t understand the symbols again, we are headed for major trouble. So if we start off wrong we will end up wrong and the natural picture or proof that we have gone off from the right way, is that in our lives we display extreme behaviors we call “sin”, but it really means not having Yeshua! Well I can only speak of my life and the fact that I lacked understanding of who I was as a individual and never knew that sexual desires, once awakened, are extremely hungry.
When I was younger, I saw other young kids kiss and play “hide and go get it” meaning they would hide and then when they found each other they would have sex. I was about five at that time, and never understood that until I got older and began liking boys, and then had sex early and never knew what my body was about to go through, but months after I had sex, I was scared and nervous but didn’t want to be left out of my group of friends that were 13 and older having sex regularly.
When I was 14, I was home alone a lot and never had a boyfriend and my friends were dating and having relationships and I felt like I wasn’t attractive to boys except for sex, but the times I was alone at home, I would think about sex and wonder why everyone was enjoying it but me, but on this day my life changed… I began to explore my body and from there had felt pleasure and thought it was good and thought I didn’t need a man to do anything for me and from there I learned how to pleasure myself.
For twenty years have I been in bondage to masturbation and on a continuous cycle of shame, then condemnation, then guilt, then fear, then self-hatred, then loneliness, all the while believing the lies of the enemy that I wasn’t attractive and no man wanted me and I was ruined for marriage and I simply gave up, and couldn’t bear to hear anything pertaining to relationships at all… until now!
About four months ago I had to face that demon mind-set and Dad (my Father in Heaven) took me into myself and I had to go back through those feelings again and it wasn’t easy “at all”, but nobody wants to be isolated from there heavenly Father, at least those who want to serve HIM, but as I went through those feelings again, Dad began showing me, that of course that spirit is ‘unclean’ and is all about ’self’, but for me I was afraid to think that HE (ELOHIYM) was going to really answer years of prayers about my self-image and if I could ever see myself as one who could be in a real relationship, because I spent years having a “one sided” relationship with myself, and never knew how to relate to men because of the absence of a natural father and Holy Spirit’s leading guidance.
The fact is that most people suffer in silence and never say anything about it except to turn they’re noses up or tell you it is OK to do it…. sorry, but masturbation is not OK to do for a man or a woman and should be brought to the light and counsel of ELOHIYM/GOD. This display of perversion is a process of healing and maybe connected to other issues in your life, but for me God walked me through it by getting me to face loneliness and insecurities (which seem to be coupled together) and then marriage issues. Whether I get married in the future or not, it had become an idol and Dad and myself said “it needs to go”!!
Idols are those things we put before our heavenly Father [ELOHIYM] everyday and never know it but they become hindrances in our walk with Him in righteousness (or right understanding) of Christ. The healing I received DIDN’T COME BY ANYONE LAYING HANDS ON ME FOR IT, I PRESSED INTO THE WORD, FASTED AND ALLOWED THE DEATH PROCESS TO TAKE PLACE IN ME. Revelation means manifestation or appearing so, there was an appearing of Yeshua in areas of my mind and heart that He wasn’t in, and He began to bring fulfillment and satisfaction to me by HIS WORD, because the seed is the word and it should always impregnate our womb (or minds) with more and more of HIM [YESHUA]!!!! I AM SO GLAD ABOUT THIS ONE THING, HIS SEED WORD, WHICH HAS CHANGED AND KEEPS CHANGING MY LIFE!!!
AMEN BLESS YOU ALL!
Mar 4:13 And He said to them, Do you not know this parable? And how then will you know all parables?
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